Raising premature ejaculation (PE) with a doctor can feel awkward, but doctors hear about sexual problems often, and a little preparation makes the visit easier. This article gives practical ideas for the appointment. It is general information and not medical advice.
Before the appointment
- Write down when PE began, how often it happens and whether it has changed.
- Note any erection problems, pain, or urinary symptoms, even if they seem unrelated.
- List all your medicines, supplements and herbal products, and how much alcohol you drink.
- Write your questions down so that you do not forget them in the room.
- If you use a medical aid, check how consultations are covered, and whether you need to see your GP first.
Opening the conversation
You do not have to build up to it. A doctor will usually find it easier if you say it plainly at the start. For example:
I would like to talk about something personal. I am ejaculating sooner than I want to during sex, and it is worrying me.
I have noticed a change in how long I last, and I would like to find out whether there is a reason for it.
If you find it hard to say, you can hand the doctor your written notes.
What the doctor will ask
- How long it has been going on, and whether it has always been like this or began later.
- Whether it happens with every partner and every time, or only sometimes.
- About how long you last before ejaculating, and whether you feel you can delay it. A stopwatch is not needed.
- Whether your erections are affected.
- Your general health, your medicines and your use of alcohol or drugs.
- How it affects you and your relationship.
The doctor may also examine you or arrange tests, depending on what you say. See medical causes of PE for what a doctor may look for.
Questions worth asking
- What type of PE might I have?
- Could anything physical, or a medicine I take, be involved?
- Do I need any tests?
- What are my options, and what are the benefits and risks of each?
- How long should I try something before deciding whether it works?
- When should I come back, and when would I be referred to a urologist?
You can read about the options beforehand in the overview of treatment options, and about how medicines are used on this page.
If you feel dismissed
Sometimes a doctor may brush a sexual concern aside. If that happens, you can say that it matters to you and ask for it to be taken seriously. You can ask whether another doctor or a urologist would be more appropriate, or you can seek a second opinion. Your concern is valid, whatever the doctor’s response.
For help deciding who to see first, read when to see a doctor, or try the private self-check.
This article is general educational information and is not a substitute for individual medical advice.